Her, Her, and Me
It’s no secret that I enjoy the company of a woman that likes women, but there is much more to having a good threesome than just finding two bisexual women. There needs to be chemistry, sexual attraction, and a commitment by everyone involved to bring all parties to an orgasmic conclusion. Recent studies say that 1 out of 4 women are or have been interested or curious about sexual interaction with other women. My job is to seek out those women and introduce them to each other.
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So This Is Love?
I came across a status on facebook today that while truthful, made me shake my head…
Ok I know what love is…..ladies when ur man bathes u after u had a nite of drinkin and u threw up everywhere and he cleans it up and feed u and put u to bed….and after all that…look u in ur eyes and says I love u baby now that’s love…..
Now, there’s no arguing that any man that does this either really loves you or is a complete idiot. I’ll tend to agree with the love part. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let me say that I don’t consume liquor at all, so my opinion is a little biased. I do not hang around women while they are consuming alcohol, and if I did, I would have probably fucked half of Southeastern Michigan by now. I’ll put my unpopular opinions aside and state that most people are down for having a good natured alcoholic beverage from time to time. Some do it to catch a buzz and relax, while others get a little horny or excited from it. Both of this are ok…I guess.
Then you have the dudes who get drunk and either end up killing or being killed. They are off their rocker obviously. Lastly, you have the females who get shit face wasted. On no planet is that attractive. You want the girl to be just drunk enough to fuck, not so drunk that she throws up on your dick while she’s sucking it, or so I would think.
Back to this status. Why is my woman getting so damn drunk to the point that she’s sitting there throwing up over herself? Answer….she wouldn’t be. But his is, so he has to clean her up like a good dude should.
So if your partner loves you enough you to clean you up after such a disaster, shouldn’t you love yourself enough to not cause the disaster in the first place?
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Take It or Leave It
Sometimes, I can be a real asshole. I don’t live with the desire to hurt anyone’s feelings, but there seems to be a casually consistent moment of, “oh well”, brewing in my mind. Perhaps I’m smelling my own shit a little too much; dare I say I was probably wrong for my juvenile, inconsiderate, immature actions towards this young lady on this particular night. Further explanation, or the evil uH standing on my left shoulder, says, fuck it, it’s her fault. She said one thing and did another, so I told her, “take it or leave it.”
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The Best Threesome I NEVER Had
It’s one of the few days this year in Detroit scheduled to reach 75+ degrees thus far; that’s cause for a mini-celebration. What’s my plan? Money, knowledge, then…women. Not just any women though, BIG BOOTY HAVING WOMEN, preferably with non-scary faces. After I finished my work on the net and some much needed studying, I hit the database in search of the ladies I’d like to accompany to Hart Plaza. From there, never could I have predicted what was going to happen…
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Fan Appreciation: How To Get Undressed By The Undresser
I’m checking my e-mail this morning and come across a funny graphic made by Chocolate Diva aka Eastside T. Too much time on her hands? Perhaps, but it was still funny, and has been true once or twice. Well, here it is…
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Random Facebook Request — What Would You Do?
Lately, I’ll say within the past 3-5 weeks, I’ve been trying to do something nice for atleast one person everyday. Rather it’s giving a homeless person at the gas station a dollar when they ask for it or paying a random person a compliment, just something to help me slowly transform myself into a more loving individual of human beings in general.
Earlier this week, I noticed a status by a young lady on facebook that read, “Need someone to take me to the bus station.” Without thinking, I responded saying, “I got you.” I really had no intention of taking this woman anywhere. First off, it was on my Michigan Undresser page, so I didn’t know this woman at all. All of her statuses were basically about her “boyfriend”, who she seems to be obsessed with (I can’t wait to see the statuses when they break up, lol), and I wasn’t attracted to her. I didn’t even know where she was from.
The next thing I know, I received a message in my inbox, so I felt like I was light-weight committed to this situation. I asked her where she was from and she said Detroit. Gosh darn it. I then asked what area, hoping she said the eastside or some suburb, and she replied “off of Livernois.” Shucks. That was maybe 4 minutes from where I was at the time. At this point, I figured helping her out wasn’t a big deal, so I told her to call me around 11 a.m. the next morning.
I didn’t think anything else of it until I was talking to a lady friend of mine and she brought up the fact that I could be possibly going to pick up a killer. Darn it, I forgot about that. This is Detroit afterall, she may not be a killer, but her goons could have been looking for some dumb facebook prey to set up. She brought up the fact that I very well may have slept with someone she knew and they knew what kind of cars I drove, money I may have on me, etc…so it could be a setup. Now my future good deed had turned into a potential nightmare.
I went back to her page, did some Google stuff, and verified that was her real name, what college she attended, etc… so I felt a little better. When she called me in the morning, I ran the address she gave me through Detroit’s Property Taxes database, to get the name of the actual homeowner and I did a quick Google Maps check to make sure it wasn’t a trap block (I refuse to go on blocks where there are too many vacant lots/houses). Everything was on the up and up, so I grabbed my trusty Glock and jumped in one of my boys cars with a little more power under the hood just in case I had to make a speedy get-a-way. Right before I left, I left a note on my computer just in case I was killed making sure that they buried all of my shoes with me, who I went to see…along with her info, and instructions to magnetize and burn my laptop and desktop computers, “yall don’t want to see what’s on there.”
Once I got in her neighborhood, I took a trip around the block to check for any n*gga activity; all was clear. I saw old people in their yards watering their grass and that’s always a good sign. After a minute, I let her know I was outside and she eventually came out with a few bags.
Fortunately, it was the same girl from facebook, only…a little less attractive than her pics suggested. I wasn’t mad though, as I didn’t come to get on, but I won’t act like a pretty chick wouldn’t have made it a little more enjoyable. She was pretty quiet after saying her initial hello, which seemed weird to me since she was in the car with some random dude who could have done anything to her. Then again, you don’t really talk to your cab driver do you?
Before I hit the Lodge freeway, she asked me to stop at the bank. Was she about to tell me to go to the ATM and clean out my account with a gun to my head? Ummmm, no. She offered to give me gas money. At $4 a gallon, I wasn’t mad at her, so I gladly went. She returned to give me $30, which was MORE than enough considering that small drive I had to make. I was pretty thankful for the donation, thinking perhaps I should moonlight as a cab driver in this Marauder with 22′s. I probably should have put some of that money towards gas in my boys car, but ehhh, he’ll be alright.
I kept the music down pretty low as to not destroy her hearing, but I was then forced to talk to her by the threat of multi-person car silence. I asked her a few questions about where she was going and she seemed very uninterested in speaking to me, as evident by her dry, one word answers. She desperately needed to get back to U of M to take her finals, but I’m thinking, for $30, she could have actually got a real cab. We ended up at the Greyhound station within 7 minutes. She got out, said thanks, and i pulled off.
That was the first time I’d ever had a woman in a car with me that I didn’t hug…or squeeze her ass…or something. It felt kind of weird, like I was really a cab driver, only the customer rode in the front. I said a little quick prayer thanking God for not letting her cut my nuts off and I went on my way, driving from Dexter to Davison running out more of my boys gas.
Would you ever offer a random person a ride off the street or on facebook? If you were a woman, would you even accept a ride from a stranger, especially off of the internet?
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Did She Really Get That Tattooed Right There?
It’s no secret I don’t like tattoos, WHATSOEVER, but I can atleast understand why you would get your children or loved ones who passed away permanently etched into your skin. What I don’t understand is this complete madness that I see above. Someone help me understand, please.
1. Why would any dude, besides satan, want to suck titties/nipples there are 2 inches away from Jesus? Come on son. You know Jesus is right there, eyes following you. What happens if you pull out and you nut on that tat? You have to be going to Hell.
2. It’s 2011, are we still acting like this isn’t in the Bible, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” I’m not trying to go there, but come on. This is like me getting some Holy Spirit Condoms. 
.
3. The word BLESSED, should be CURSED.
4. Yes, of course, this girl is black…and she lives in Detroit. No I haven’t fucked her, or even met her, and I never plan to, unless it’s to take my tattoo eraser to her entire body.
See, they pass up pussy because the girl isn’t cute enough…I pass up pussy because of dumb ass shit like this.
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