undressingHER – LUST. LOVE. LIFE.

Well there goes my long a*s streak of consecutive days getting the box. There are few times when I’m more annoyed then when I go over a woman’s house and I leave without having had the chance to bust a nut. Well just my luck, it happened 3 times in one night. I don’t know what happened, I followed my guidelines to the T. I didn’t get anything good out of it, not even a good woman to kick it with or anything.

Somewhere on my rules of leaving the house for a chick is to make sure you have more than one woman to visit per run. You may or not have to actually see more than one woman, but once again, it’s important to have a “backup for the backup, just in case they act up.”

So I decided to go at it like this: 1 new (as in never chilled with alone before) woman in the suburbs, 1 girl I already had sex with (from one of the hotel blogs), and one more woman that I kicked it with a few times, but never got the box from because her son was there.

New woman first. She had her own apartment out in the suburbs. She was average looking, nothing really to describe. She’s 31. Our vibe was ok at first, but then, we started to talk about relationships and this woman started to annoy me to no end. She called me a male whore, which I can accept, but her reasoning for it was so off. According to her, any man who does not want to be in a committed relationship is a h*e. Well I’ll be darned. She’s 31 and is still putting “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” in high regard, as if that means something more than a friend. As if people should only “date” with the objective of eventually being in an exclusive relationship with that person. At that point, I knew this was a one time mission.

Then, she got me. The patented move. She offered me some food and a nice cold gla*s of ice water, lol. I’m so easy. She popped in a DVD of some movie I’d never seen before with Xzibit. It took place down south and was about some drug raids that were racist, that led to a waitress suing the police department (anybody that knows the name, please help me out here). Anyway, I was into the movie. Really into it. I actually stopped paying her any attention and just watched the movie. After a while though, I remembered why I was there. So I grabbed her a*s and she red lighted me. Twice. She cut off my advances quick. “That’s rude, I just met you.” What? lol. “Guys don’t do that, they’re more respectable than that,” she said. I looked at her oddly, “you mean RESPECTFUL?” After she didn’t understand that her sentence was grammatically incorrect, I simply said, “ok miss, I’m gone.” I got up, unlocked the door then walked back to my car. NEXT.

Now I’m over ol’ girls house. The one with the tattoo of the pierced tongue on her back. She’s thicker than I remember. a*s fat as all day. She’s gotten her right nipple pierced since I last saw her. The house was empty and she was bored. A disgusting smell of cigarettes was embedded in the house, but everytime she stood up, it was if I lost my sense of smell. A little while later, we go up to her room. It’s bare bones; she just moved in, and was about to move out. I get her on the bed. “I’m not doing that,” she said. “I’m not in the mood. I’m not going there, I’m just not trying to do that.” I hear that A LOT, so of course I ignored it. Little did I know this b***h was dead serious. I tried, and I mean I f**king TRIED. I stayed on that bed with her for 10 minutes trying to f**k her, but she wasn’t having it. f**k it, I got off the bed and sat on the stairs near the door.

My disrespectful a*s sat right there and called some more women right there in her house (I don’t keep womens numbers in my phone so I was limited to the ones who text me some time during the last 3 hours). I hit em’ all with the same quick question: “Can I come see you, right now?” A few had their kids, which means there’s no reason for me to go see them. Others were out. It was shaping up to be a really dry a*s night.

Finally I got two women who were home alone. It really didn’t matter which one I went to see, as they both looked the same and had similar bodies. I’d never had sex with either (otherwise I would have gone with the chick I hit already). One lived closer to the area I was in, so I decided to go over her house.

She lives with her people, but she has the entire upstairs to herself. I walked straight to her bed to test it out and to my dismay, it was one of those old, super squeaky beds. We sat on the bed and started watching tv and making small talk. After a few minutes, it was time to go in. I got her titties out, sucking on her nipples, and all that stuff. I tried to work my hands into her pants, but she dimmed that. At this point, I had 0 tolerance for bulls**t. “What’s up?” I asked. “I don’t know what you thought was going to happen, but I’ve only known you a week.” I started laughing. “Aight miss, take care.” I got my stuff and walked out.

When I got home, I logged into the Database 3.0 and deleted all three of the women. I was mad that I even burned damn near a quarter of a tank of gas on 3 dry runs, but ah well, it comes with the life. What did I learn from this story? Nothing. I played it right. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. On another given night, I would have gotten head from 3 different women. It does feel like they all called eachother before hand and were like, “DON’T GIVE THAT NIGGA NOTHING GIRL!!!”

Ladies, if a dude already had sex with you, and he wants to come over your house again, but you don’t want to have sex, DON’T LET HIM COME OVER. That’s mean.

Fellas, what’s the most number of womens houses you’ve been to in a row and didn’t get the box? Ladies, when a dude comes over and tries to hit, but you give him the red light, what’s the first thing you do when he leaves? Do you call your girls and tell them? Do you erase his number? Do you text him and try to explain what happened?