Knocking Posters Off The Wall

RED LIGHT. I’m fucking up. Two L’s in one year, but I did this one to myself. I fucked her, just to fuck her. I could have waited for Bubbles. I could have called Jabs, I could have visited China, or drove to Jazz’s house. But NO, I had to go get some new pussy. And new pussy ain’t always good pussy.

I was lost, I couldn’t find this chicks house for shit. She said she lived right next to the Coney Island in an apartment. THERE IS NO DAMN APARTMENT BUILDING NEXT TO THE CONEY ISLAND. Is this chick slow or what? She gives me her address and I’m tripping, shit seems to skip right over hers as I’m driving down the street looking. I tell her to come outside so I can find it quicker. She steps out and ……

Does this girl really stay ABOVE a business? I don’t think yall are hearing me, this is not NEW YORK, where you live above a bodega or something, this is Michigan, where you’re supposed to have a regular house…on the ground!!! This girls apartment was really on top of a store front, which explains why I didn’t see it.

Despite all the location issues, she was looking pretty good. She came down the stairs in some nice booty shorts and white tank top. Something was wrong though, my “R. Kelly” radar was going off. I asked her how old she was and she said 18, but I promise you, she looked 15 in the face and 25 below it. She was around 5’3, brown skin, beautiful teeth, just a tad bit thick, with a nice, cute face. I originally met her RIGHT ACROSS the street at the phone store where I was paying my bill a few weeks ago.

She originally invited me in, but I was hesitant to go in as it felt like a set up. I mean, who really lives above a damn store. I thought her family owned the store or something at first, but nope, they were just regular tenants.

In an effort to kill time, we went up to her apartment. A younger girl stood in the hallway, who I later found out was her sister. Nobody else was home. I quickly asked shortie for her ID and she produced two forms of it. Yep, officially born in 1990. Damn I’m old. So we’re sitting on the couch, not talking about a damn thing. Shortie is either super shy, nervous, or just naturally boring. I’m making small talk, she says she loves Sponge Bob. I’m thinking I need to leave, lol.

Time goes on and we’re just bullshitting, mostly I’m busy texting one of my more mature lady associates and she’s just over there on the couch looking half-retarded. I began to her notice how full her breast were and somehow, my dick started to make me say things, lol. “Those are nice,” I said like a true lame. I refused to be smooth or anything, if she let me hit, so be it, if not, I didn’t come over for that anyway.

After some more bullshit lines, I get her to take her titties out on the couch. Egh, they’re pretty nice. Nice nipples as well. I decide to kiss them. She threw me off because she didn’t have a nice scent. She didn’t smell bad, but she just smelled……normal. No type of perfume, Love Spell, nothing. Even the hoodrats have some scented lotion or something. I decide to go for the nut and get this thing moving so I can go.

I ask her to go to her room. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.

Lil Bow Wow. Chris Brown. Chris Brown’s little brothers. Sammie. Souljah Boy. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??

I re-check her id. This girls room is like a damn cut out of “Word Up” magazines. At 18? Seriously. Most girls are done with the posters by 15, 16. I guess she was holding on the dream. I look at her again, making sure I wasn’t loosing my mind, and yea…the girl is cute. I take a pic of her and send it to one of my bisexual lady friends and she confirms it, “yea she’s cute, tell her I said hi.”

Turns out the 18 yr old was bisexual as well, but I already knew I had no future plans on ever seeing this girl again. So now we’re in her room, sitting on the bed. She’s asking slow again, so I crack on her for that might mouth. She says no, but eventually, she lays down on her stomach, facing me as I’m standing up on the floor, near the edge of the bed. I pull my dick out and she puts it in her mouth. Nothing spectacular here to be honest, it was ok at best, just enough to get my dick hard enough for the mag to roll down.

Now I’m in it….this sucks. I’m sure she was thinking the same thing. She was barely wet. I guess that’s what happens sometimes when there is no foreplay. I felt like I had erectile dysfunction or something, cause my dick wouldn’t get all the way hard for shit. It was just……bland. Ahh, but my imagination never fails me. I started to think about one of my ex’s and another girl named “Lady L”….rock hard in 2 seconds. Now I’m stroking her, well I won’t call it stroking, but I’m moving my dick around, lol, and she’s bored and unresponsive. I bend her over so I don’t have to see her face and it still doesn’t work, so I just close my eyes and think about nasty bubbles was the night before. Cool, it worked….until she started moaning. “Shut up,” I told her. She was about to fuck up my nut. Finally, I got that little bullshit nut, threw the condom away and got the heck out of there.

I don’t remember her name, I never gave her one, and I think I told her my name was Mike or something. I took another loss, but this time, it wasn’t the appearance of the girl, it was the appearance of everything she was involved with. Never again will I fuck a girl with posters on her wall.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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