Status Madness Pt. 1

Every day when I scroll down my news feed on facebook, I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. Who knew people could be this dumb? Nah, I’m just playing, all of us say thing that don’t make sense every once in a while, perhaps we didn’t think it through before we decided to share it with the world. In other cases, I believe that some people really believe what they are saying is true…and obviously I disagree…so, I’ll let yall decide…

-hmmmm….only boys with weak sex game say ” you better gets yours before I get mine” !

1. We, human beings, were not meant to have sex with dozens of people (yes, I get the irony).
2. Women wouldn’t know how much “Dude A” was lacking, if they didn’t already sleep with Dudes B-Z.
3. There three ways women achieve an orgasm: a) Women who are completely in tune with their bodies. If you can get it in there, they can cum. They can use any tool to get it in, you’re just the one they prefer. b) Pure luck. Sometimes you have sex with someone who just meshes extremely well with you. c) Women who tell the man exactly what they want and the man is willing to take directions and execute accordingly.
4. If a man does not care about you, he damn sure doesn’t care if you cum or not. Heck, half the men who do care still won’t make you cum.
5. There is a difference between a woman loving sex and having an orgasm. Plenty of women love the feeling, every single stroke, but they rarely cum.
6. There is no such thing as a person with a great sex game. What there is, is a person with a great sex game FOR YOU. Nobody has sex exactly the same ways, with different people. Besides human characteristics being different from person to person, you have things like size, chemistry, willingness to please, etc… that all matter. I could have sex with 10 women today and perform the same physical movements with each one; some will say it was great, most will say it was ok, others will say it was a waste of their time. That’s life.

In conclusion, only a person with a very limited sex life could come up with such a thought.

Next.

boyfriend phone just died and so did mines, so ima get in the shower and call back later.

Why is this information being shared with the world? Some dude that you hang with and fuck, that you call your boyfriend, supposedly ran out of juice for his cell phone (really he’s just with another girl) and now you can’t do anything with your life but think about calling him back a.s.a.p.? I see why girls start busting out windows…they were ALREADY CRAZY. If you’re messing with a female and she acts like there is no such thing as life without you, get rid of her. Sure, it seems like everything is wonderful now, but as soon as you do something she doesn’t like, she’ll be reporting your weed spot to the police.

Forget all of that, why is this even a status? Is facebook twitter? You spoke to your dude and you’re about to take a shower…this is what your life is about?

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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