Asking Myself Why?

 

In a recent conversation with my mother, which began off as her plea for grandchildren, she challenged me to ask myself why I feel some of the ways I do in my relationships with women. She instruted me to list 3 things I like in a woman, 3 things I don’t like for women to do, and concluding with some general relationship questions. Obviously, this wasn’t for this blog, as she knows nothing about it, so I’m still a bit curious as to what brought this up. Regardless, I like to analyze myself, so I was open to this personal character assessment…and I’ll share MOST of it with those who choose to read this (this is not the format in which I responded to moms)…

What I Don’t Like:

1. Bad Grammar – “Who dis?”, “Where you work at?”, “What u be doing?”. AHHHH!!!! I have a severe uncontrollable issue with correcting broken English. I’m not referring to slang, I’m talking about typing, “meh” instead of me. I’m talking about adding words to sentences for no good reason. Why do I do it? My mother and grandmother, both college graduates, are excellent writers and spellers. During my childhood, my grandmother was obsessed with “proper” grammar, to the extent that if you said something like, “Close the do’”, she’d make you write “Close the door”, 100 times. She would bring home papers written by doctors and lawyers and make me proof read them. This was when I was 9 or 10. As a result, I have NEVER gotten less than an A in any English class, from 1st grade to my two semesters of English in college.
2. Littering – If I’m in the car with a woman and she throws trash out the window, I drop her back off and stop talking to her. This is unacceptable. Why? As a kid, my mother and grandma made me clean up the yard…alot. Now on my particular block, this was pretty common, but my neighborhood in general missed the memo. If there was trash in my yard, no matter who put it there, I had to clean it up, which led to me hating anyone who threw anything on the ground that could end up in my yard. Not only did I have to do it at my home, but every property that my grandmother owned. Eventually, I learned that Detroit would be such a cleaner place is people would just throw their trash away in a trash can. It cost you nothing to keep a can in your car until you reach a place you can properly dispose of it. If it’s that big of an issue, just pull up to nearest store or gas station to throw it away.
3. Smoking/drinking – No woman that I’ve ever respected growing up smoked, atleast not where I saw it. It was highly unlady like. Not a single woman in my immediate family smoked or drank liquor at all, in fact, they hated it. Every female teacher that I had spoke against smoking, especially cigarettes. It wasn’t until I was in highschool that I knew girls actually smoked cigarettes and I was disgusted. As for alcohol, aside from my mother and grandmother never doing it, everytime I saw a girl doing something really stupid, she was drunk. The smell turned me off. Seeing girls outside of clubs, in parking lots, throwing up, made me hate it.

I should have included weave, but I was limited to three things.

What I Like:

1. Women that can cook – This is pretty self explanatory. Grandma can cook, very well. She preaches, “if a man works, he should eat.” So, after she made me clean up the yard and all of that crap, she had mac and cheese on deck. However, somehow now that I don’t have a job where I have to actually go to work (she doesn’t think doing stuff on the computer is real work, no matter how many checks I show her), she doesn’t cook as much.
2. Women who give to those in need – Straight from grandma, “a good woman is a charitable woman.” Every woman that I’ve seriously liked, from Bubbles to Therapist, was the type of woman who would take $10 out of her purse and give it to a homeless person without thinking twice. Those women, in my experience, tend to be extremely kind and loving of not just themselves, but all people.
3. Women that grew up with their fathers in their lives – I will not say that women who grew up in a single parent household don’t know how to decent brothers, but in my experience, the women who grew up with “good” fathers definitely do.  Sometimes that means that they won’t deal with me for too long, but that just means that their fathers taught them to stick to their standards and move on if they feel something isn’t right for them. Surprisingly, atleast to most people, I get along GREAT with 99% of everyone’s parents that I met. I really like old people (no disrespect) and often times, fathers realize that while I may not be their daughters future husband, that I don’t have any intention of mistreating his daughter or bringing harm to her. Most of them probably cheated anyway, lol.

Her questions:

1. Why don’t you want children? - I’m scared. I’m scared it may not work out with their mother. I’m scared to leave them anywhere with anyone because of how sick some human beings are. I’m scared that I won’t be able to give them everything they want. I’m scared that if republicans get their way, there will be no funding to make sure my child actually learns something in school. Oh yea, I’m cheap. I don’t like crying and diapers. I don’t like liars (just thinking about my daughter telling me she’s going over her girls house and she’s really with “Chris”…smh). I like to whatever I want, when I want to do it.
2. How have my own relationships with men shaped your current lifestyle? – No comment.
3. Don’t you think we have enough dogs out here? – Ouch. Woman scorned much? Well, in my honest opinion, a man is only a dog if he is misleading women and I clearly don’t do that. I’m overly honest, perhaps to a fault. If a particular woman ask me when is the last time I had sex, I may tell her the truth…2 hours ago. If she chooses to deal with me after that, that’s on her. A dog would lie to her, tell her that she’s the only one, etc… I don’t condone those activities.

For the sake of my sanity, I left some things out, and paraphrased some of my mother’s questions.

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Author: The Undresser

Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.

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