My First “Date” With a White Girl
In March of 2009, I wrote a blog titled, “White Girls, Am I Missing Something?” . Well two years later, not only had I still not engaged in some form of sexual intercourse with a Caucasian woman, but I’ve never even gone out with one…until this past week. As it would turn out, I picked the wrong white woman to meet up for lunch…
When I say Caucasian, I mean stereo-typical 100% white American female. A “Becky” if you will, preferably one with an ass that actually has some type of curve to it.
Well I met one who fit the description at a Target a few months back. I wasn’t really paying her any attention, as I was focused on buying a box of condoms. I heard her chuckle and ask me, “Can’t find what you’re looking for?” I glanced over in her direction and quickly approved her physical appearance. “I guess everybody wears Magnums,” I responded. “Even you,” she shot back. I laughed it off and continued to scan for black and gold box, turning up empty. I didn’t know what to say to her, as it’s not like it’s a guide for pulling white chicks, so I simply asked her her name. That worked, she gave me her number, and I went on my way to Meijer to get my condoms (the best store in the world in case you didn’t know).
A few days later I sent her a text to find out her stats: 25, master’s student, works in downtown Detroit, no kids, and no husband. She doesn’t smoke and rarely drinks. She asked me if I’d like to out to dinner, but I informed her that I rather meet up somewhere less demanding first, just to see how we vibe. After agreeing, she suggested I meet her for lunch in the food court of the Ren Cen.
All is set. I’m sitting in a grossly overpriced Cadillac CTS Wagon in the General Motors showroom, waiting for her to come down from her office. It is imperative that when meeting a woman in a public place, that you check to see what other women are around. If no one looks familiar, you can proceed to look for any women that you may want to talk to just in case things don’t go well with the woman you’re meeting up with. As Freckles would say, “M.O.B., you’re doing too much.” O’ well.
She called me to let me know she could see my black hat with the white letters on it as I walked around looking like I was talking to someone who could see me, but I couldn’t see them. Near the McDonald’s, I saw her standing against a wall with a very blank face. I’m used to women smiling when I come to greet them, so her facial expression threw me off. She said she was going to get some Coney Island while I stood in line at McDonalds.
Unfortunately, as anyone who has ever been to the Ren Cen (Renaissance Center) knows, there is no dollar menu at the McDonald’s. Everything in the Ren Cen’s food court is overpriced. It’s like buying food at a baseball game. Once I saw that apple pies were $1.49 each, instead of 2 for $1 like anywhere else in Michigan, I hopped out of line and took a seat in the cafeteria. She joined me with her salad, pita bread, and some nasty looking meat that I assume only white folks eat (I’m kidding…no seriously).
And from there, it was over…
The conversation was dryer than a nun’s pussy (I wonder if nuns get wet?). Chemistry? F-. Things were bearable until we ended up on the topic of religion. Shame on me for going there. As most people that know me can confirm, I’m a very strong minded and blunt person. I found her religious beliefs to be a bit…wacky to say the least. Then to my surprise, she revealed that she was barely even white. Her biological father, RED LIGHT, was black and native American and her mom is Greek. But wait, there’s more. Her biological father raped her mom, which is why she never acknowledged her. But wait, there’s more. The man that raped her mom was her surrogate father’s best friend, who was married to her mom at the time. Did I lose you there? Ok, Let’s say Hate2Love and I are bestfriends and I’m married to, “Jill.” Hate2Love rapes Jill and she has a baby. Get it? FUCKED UP, RIGHT??!!
At that point, I decided this wasn’t the type of “white” girl I was looking forward to having jungle fever with. Besides, she’s not even white. From there, she proceeded to ask me if I had a girlfriend, the term that drives my brain insane. After telling her no, she responded, “I can see why,” which I took as an insult which resulted in me going on the defensive. “Girlfriends are what 9 year old boys call the girl that have a crush on in class. I’m not in a monogamous romantic relationship because I have no desire to be in one,” I replied, but she was unmoved. “Ummhmmm,” she mumbled as she ate her food.
I made an uninterested face and I’m sure we could both tell it was time to call this meet and greet quits. I walked with her to the escalator where she thanked me for coming to see her and we parted ways. That was the first time I’d left a woman’s presence without giving her a hug in YEARS (sex excluded). No bye’s, nothing.
I was so annoyed, I didn’t even look at the other women in the food court, I simply left, calling Ayrelle to fill her in on my failed mission, while the wind blew against me on a this chilly afternoon by the river front. Meeting white women is harder for me than I ever thought it would be. Either they simply aren’t attracted to me or I really don’t want one. One of my female associates told me to go to a white bar/club, but when I don’t even go to urban bars and clubs, I don’t see how that will be work. I guess I’ll step out of my comfort zone one of these weekends, so I can meet the Becky of my dreams, or atleast of my night.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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27 Comments
3/26/2011
Lmao @ dryer than a nuns pussy
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3/26/2011
MAN! She had to be part Greek, of course… Fucking up our reputation, that’s messed up!!! Hahaha
It’s ok, UH. You just made the wrong (first) choice. Might be a better one next time *shrugs*
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3/27/2011
Hi, Un, I am new to your blog and I find your entries: amusing, informative, contradictory, hyprocrical and sexual stimulating all in one. Don’t give up on us white girls just yet.
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March 27th, 2011 at 3:26 am
When you get a chance, please tell me what hyprocrical means.
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March 27th, 2011 at 4:21 am
absolutely nothing, I don’t think. However, I meant to spell hypocritical.
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April 28th, 2011 at 10:36 am
White girl AKA Kia tell him GTFOH lol, but seriously i wish” hyprocrical” meant something it has a nice ring to it.
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3/27/2011
Stick to your comfort zone. Don’t go out of your way for some so called coveted white girl vagina where you might end up disappointed in the end. You already know black girls are awesome, so why leave awesome?
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March 27th, 2011 at 3:31 am
To be clear, women known as African-Americans in this country, are far from the only women I’ve dealt with. Atleast a quarter of my interactions with women have been with women of several ethnicity’s and a mixing bag of cultures. From Italian and Angolian to French and Jamaican. Simply put, I have not had a clearly defined American white chick. I do not think that one or even a dozen white women that I may meet will speak for the entire grouping of white women, no more than 5 hoodrats speak for the mindsets of all African-American women.
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March 27th, 2011 at 4:43 am
Question Un, “What really was the issues with the woman?” She brought her own meal, showed transparency and vulnerablity by disclosing a very serious situation in her life, asked a typical relationship status question out of consideration for the next woman or maybe herself. By the way, I use the term girl/boyfriend because its a common term when describing someone you are with exclusively but not married to) Talks of religion can ignite endless debates, but even still no matter how wacky it is, its a belief system not a scientific fact. Her figure that you did admire, maybe her diet(sounded pretty healthy) had something to do with it. Not everyone can maintain a nice figure eating mickey d’s. I don’t get it maybe you left a few things out or maybe you had preconceived notions but then again why would you because you don’t sterotype.
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March 27th, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Kia, your points are MORE than valid, that’s why I included them. At the end of the day, it’s about chemistry, and we had none. You can’t force a good vibe, regardless of how the stat sheet says you’re supposed to mesh. The Knicks have Melo and Amare…but it’s just not working. Our personalities didn’t match and in NO way am I trying to say she was at fault. There are women who I have a spark with, that smoke weed and drink, and as much as I hate those activities, when we’re around one another, we have fun. It’s a natural good time.
This same situation happens all the time with black women, I just don’t blog about it.
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3/27/2011
Dating outside your race allows you to experience different people. Live it, learn it, and store it.
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March 27th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
To an extent I agree, but as another commenter said, it’s not about the race, but the upbringing of the person.
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3/27/2011
Wow. figured white girls would be easy for you. But you might be too light and as you stated you just chose the wrong one. I had a 1/2 White girl in Nursing school. Great experience.
from my experiences with full white (Grandparents and Parents are of European decent) women have proved one thing…It all depends on where and how they were raised
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March 27th, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I agree sir. That’s why I stated in detail the first time, exactly what I meant by a white girl. Just being white means nothing if she’s from Romulus with 2 baby daddies and a thing for black dudes with Caprices and Marauders. I’m not looking for a jumpoff, I’m talking a level of extreme coolness. Something like my friendships with Fantasia, Kyla, or Tahoe.
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3/27/2011
Hmmmm.this may sound very ignorant to the rest of u but usually in situations like this u don’t see dorky white girls wit cool black guys. When have u ever seen a hoodrat wit a surburban white man. Usually its a white dude who “acts black”.when dating outside ur race I feel like u want the same qaulities u want in a mate period despite the color difference
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March 27th, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Although that sounds messed up, it’s usually true. That’s because race doesn’t determine behavior. A black dude who was raised in a suburban area and hung with skaters is more likely to think nothing is wrong with wearing thong sandals and saying “cool” and “awesome” all day. A white girl who grew up in the projects surrounded by a certain type of black people, will act like those black folks, but that doesn’t mean she acts black, she just acts like a hoodrat.
I won’t say I’m a cool dude. I don’t have the swag of Bill Clinton. I’m not the life of the party or Billy D., because my opinions on things are often too strong. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to “dump it down”, to enjoy myself with a woman. It’s one thing to go over a woman’s home with sex on my mind, it’s another to actually sit and have lunch with one. That’s why I date the same women, because we just work.
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April 28th, 2011 at 10:41 am
I read this and laughed at the following things;
A)an image of thong sandals
Z)how hard it is for you to “dump it down”
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3/27/2011
I’m not giving up, not yet, not EVER, lol.
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March 27th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
good luck, un, we are rooting for you. The black men that I’ve dated have been surburbanites. We just connected, so you are right vibe and upbringing are extremely important. I’m in corporate america and am currently pursuing my MBA along with a black girlfriend of mine. We grew up together, similiar attitudes and world views, even went to the same universities so our quality of education is the same. I will admit she’s a little smarter, I’ll give her that. However, when it comes to dating, I tend to attract most if not all the black guys and sometimes I wonder if that is because I am white. She and I have joked about it but I can’t help but notice this really negatively affects her. If anything I have a bigger attitude than she does, so it is not that. She has had help me at times when I was in conflicts with my beau because I simply did not understand his point of view and she did. Maybe she is too nice, I don’t know. However, I curious to know why is that because my friend is a great gal.
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March 27th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
I think my lack of dealings with white women is because of social climate. I simply haven’t been around them enough. It wasn’t until I started going to college that I was introduced to white girls my age. At some of the jobs I’ve held, the white women were always older than me, so it wasn’t the same situation. I like women with flavor and it seems like white women don’t have any, but that’s based on my ignorance in dealing with them. I don’t want a white girl who raps Lil Wayne versus though…no more then I want a black girl who’s rapping Gucci Mane.
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3/27/2011
chemistry is key to any type of relationship.
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March 27th, 2011 at 4:27 pm
exactly.
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3/28/2011
“At that point, I decided this wasn’t the type of “white” girl I was looking forward to having jungle fever with. Besides, she’s not even white.” <– Made me LOL. Ha.
When you find the Becky that STAYS Becky but is cool around you as a black man….I'll just say from experience, that should be a good time.
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3/31/2011
shut up she didt tell you all this one first date…I wish I can put a virus on this site!!
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April 4th, 2011 at 1:03 am
are you ok? You need a hug? lol
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4/28/2011
I’d be lying if I said I could date a white guy, it’s mean and superficial but I can’t have that type of penis in me! I like to look at it going in me and I have been grossed out by white penises in porn.My friends tell me not to knock it but I have the same mindset that I can not suck on white breast with those hideous pink nipples.I have found some white men to be physically attractive, and most have been pretty respectable when they approached me but if I can’t see you naked it can’t work.
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6/9/2011
well written, i’ma writer rarely ever get to read anything at all from a guys point of view, loved it. and awesome to come across another writer from detroit! anyways. this blog is dope. i was rolling when you wrote that she had a blank expression when she met up with you. and it seemed like at the beginning she was peeping you out from afar, god i’ve been on dates with white guys that have done that creepy shit to me. anyway <3 'd it.
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