So You’re Having Sex For Lunch?
After finishing up my work on some websites this morning, I found myself strolling down the most recent post on my news feed. As usual, you have folks thanking God for another day, people mad about work/school, people complaining about haters, and all of the typical things you’ll find on an average day. Once I read too many stupid statuses from one person, I simply click the X by their stat, so I no longer have to read what they say. Today, I clicked the X…
Let me preface this by saying, this particular woman wrote about 20 statuses in two hours. Most of them honestly had some merit, even though they were clearly expressed with a very limited vocabulary. Then, I read this one…
fellas! chillin is considerd a FREE DATE.so don’t b mad if she leaves whn after the movie is over.she’s prob goin to go throw that one nigga that took her to lunch sum ASS……get cheap after you hit a FEW times #payATTENTION
I’m going to address the content of the above message, not the grammar, or lack there of. I’ve sat here for a while to make sure that I had all of my ducks in a row before actually blogging about this and I might miss a point or even state something that doesn’t make sense because, well, I’m annoyed.
1. Your first time chillin’ alone with someone is not a free date. It’s simply, hanging out. In this case, hanging out with a person who you find mentally or physically attractive, in hopes of spending time with them, in effort to get to know them, even on the most basic of levels. Chillin’ is not about impressing someone with what you can do for them, it’s about showing them what it is like to be around you. Developing chemistry, if you will.
2. If a woman is having sex with a man because he took her to lunch, she is an…idiot. How about actually liking the man? Or…even wanting to have sex with that person? Nope, she just wants to lay on her back because you bought her some chicken tenders.
3. I didn’t realize general lunch was that expensive. You can be cheap and still spring for some coney island. I’m sure most men who had a couple of dollars would quickly do that if that’s all it takes to have sex with you.
4. Let me speak from experience. I know women who use men to take them out and they NEVER have sex with these dudes. I don’t even know if they actually like them. On the other hand, they have sex with me, and I don’t do anything. If you need to take a woman out, as in pay for her experiences while she’s with you, just to have sex with her, you have failed at life.
I’m not saying fuck her immediately. I’m saying, dating/courting or even the process leading up to sex, should be about the woman getting comfortable with the man. That connection can be made with strolls in the park, conversations at the beach, or a meal he prepared for her at his home. It shouldn’t have to do with the money you spent on her, especially not a measly $20 damn dollars.
In conclusion, my logic is obviously not what society says it should be. I actually live life in reverse. I’m not cheap after I hit it a few times, I’m cheap in the beginning. I part with my income for OUR enjoyment, meaning I’ll pay both of our way for whatever we do, after I already know I want to be around her when we’re not having sex. I’ll pay for lunch after I already know I’d even want to have lunch with you. If all I want to do is have sex, what the heck am I even out in public with you for?
Perhaps I’m not thinking clearly here, so I’d like to hear from my readers; the smart and the rest of yall. Maybe I can learn something here.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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12 Comments
3/24/2011
Bought some chicken tenders!!!! HILARITY!
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3/24/2011
I hate to put it this way, but in my mind lunch doesn’t equal ass. If we’re doing something and I pay that’s because I enjoy being out with you and I don’t mind paying. If I really want to have sex I’m not taking you anywhere because then I’m probably going to have to wait until we get back to hit it. But I could be wrong also.
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3/24/2011
perhaps I should ask her to come here and explain her side.
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3/24/2011
Actually, the guy who spends more TIME rather than MONEY is probably more likely to get “thrown some ass”. When money is not an issue for a man, I bet his time is.
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March 26th, 2011 at 8:44 pm
I haven’t had issues getting sex, regardless of the class of the woman (I’m referring to her social and economical class), so I don’t know how much that matters. I would think that time would be the most important thing to women who don’t equate true feelings to the amount of money a man has spent on them. Tiger Woods spent thousands on his jumpoffs to meet up for sex…and he didn’t give two shits about them.
[Reply]
3/24/2011
Agreed, UH!
[Reply]
3/25/2011
Going on what you said un, ” I part with my income for OUR enjoyment, meaning I’ll pay both of our way for whatever we do, after I already know I want to be around her when we’re not having sex. I’ll pay for lunch after I already know I’d even want to have lunch with you.” so with that being said, this person who wrote this statement maybe has determined from life experience that men parting with their cash equates to his level of interest in her whether it be sex or something more. And she as a woman, feeling valued even in the smallest way, opens her up to the possiblity of sexual relations. I mean each woman is different when it comes to when and how she expresses her appreciation for being appreciated or what she even views as appreciation. Some women its a dinner, some its time, others its can be big as a marriage proposal or a man choosing monogamy with her. Its just a diversity. Her language of love is money, my language of love is service. I’m like the dinners and gifts are nice but what kind of sacrafices have you made to have me? Then when those actions have been proven and verified through consistenty over time the panties come off, lol.
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3/26/2011
i would have made a blog about that ignorant ass post too if i would have seen it. fuck what she was talking about, if i dont hit the first time i chill with u, best believe i will on the 2nd or 3rd FREE chill. i agree on the not spending money unless for our enjoyment, im the same way. if it doesnt involve me and something i agree then the idea is trashed.
“the only bag i bought a broad had mcdonalds on it” – Bank$
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March 26th, 2011 at 8:45 pm
always gotta love Lloyd Banks quotes.
As I said, nothing wrong spending money and/or quality time with a woman, but I’m not going to do it just because I want to have sex with a chick. I rather jack off.
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March 28th, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Have to agree with you on this one. I only spend money on a woman once I know she is worth it. How can I know if a woman is worth it if I don’t spend time getting to know her? Initial meetings will be cheap or free.
Of course, there are plenty of suckers out there willing to pay for lunch, dinner, whatever and plenty of woman that will let them. They can have each other!
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3/29/2011
I try to come thru to this site once a week to see any interesting updates! This one i couldnt agree with more!!! I’ll be quoting you on facebook by lunch.
-NY Fly Guy!
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10/15/2011
giving her the benefit of the doubt…. I think she was trying to explain that guys who always constantly want to “just chill”… dont deserve ass. They probably just want to fuck, but dont have the balls to say it, so they keep inviting you over to just chill saying they want to get to know you better…never saying they want to date you, but insinuating it, so, in the end, they can be like I never said I wanted anything more…. clearly im bitter. lol.
but you get ass without paying money or spending extra time cuz you clearly state what you want.
a lot of guys could.
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