The 10 Facebook Commandments
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your game on track, not your wig pushed back
X. Do not post “Can’t wait to go to church” on Sunday morning when you were just sucking dick Saturday night.
IX. Men shall not poke other men on facebook…or anywhere else.
VIII. Do not post sexy pictures with dirty socks on.
VII. Do not post statuses that you don’t want responses to.
You might get a smart ass response from someone like me that you don’t like.
VI. Women shall not post comments on men’s wall to make other women jealous.
He’s fucking both of yall, so who really looks stupid?
V. Do not take pictures of money that you no longer have.
We’re grown here. We all know that school refund checks, income tax returns, and re-up money is the source of 95% of these photos. Stop lying.
IV. Do not tag me in a flyer for your party. I’m not going.
Especially you ICEBURG!!!
III. Never contact me about something I wrote on your boo’s/baby momma/girlfriend/etc… page.
You make yourself seem lamer than your girlfriend already has.
II. Do not call me about a status I posted on facebook.
“Were you talking about me?”
I. Thou shall limit themselves to 1 facebook game per month.
You do not need to participate in every dumb facebook event that comes around.
Always remember, this is just a website. You can log off and/or delete your account at any time.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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11 Comments
12/15/2010
I think U shoulda kept going!! theres so many dos and donts to FB!! #9 shoulda been #1 tho!!
[Reply]
12/15/2010
You know I STILL don’t know what the hell that “Poke” shit even means. Facebook enables the dumbest shit to be cool.
[Reply]
12/15/2010
Lol, AMEN!
And that wasnt even a sexy picture, dirty socks n all. SMDH
[Reply]
12/15/2010
PREACH!
*text from random dude* “Was your status about me?” o_0 Don’t flatter yourself…
AND MONEY PICS!!! WTF…just yesterday, you were talking about how you didn’t have no gas money and now you rolling around in big face hundreds??? EPIC FAIL. lmao
[Reply]
12/16/2010
CO-SIGN!
& smh @ dude poking you…
[Reply]
12/17/2010
Agreed. #9 esp.
[Reply]
12/18/2010
This was a lazy post to pacify readers.
[Reply]
12/19/2010
Picture of the chic with the dirty socks…HILARIOUS and NASTY!!!!
Ok, I’ve got another on to add to the list that JUST happened to me yesterday:
Do NOT have your boy send a message to your child’s mother requesting that she please call you. We are not in middle school people. If you have something to say, pick up the phone and call yourself…or better yet if you have to even consider having some one do this for you, maybe it’s best that the two of you not speak EVER!
[Reply]
12/22/2010
IRK.. WTH is that anyway? Isn’t poking kinda like saying Hi, I’m thinking about you, I see you? Why not just say hi, post a message on their wall, inbox? Poking is kinda stalkerish???
[Reply]
12/25/2010
merry christmas.
[Reply]
12/29/2010
If you have the resources to get on facebook that means you also have the resources to an online dictionary. SPELL CHECK YOUR SH*T BEFORE YOU POST IT!!!!! If you’re still not sure about a word, don’t use it! Take a remedial english course!! A typo here or there is ok but damn….you DO NOT spell ignorance with an “s”!!!!! (ignorants, are you f*cking serious????) ok….I’m done!
[Reply]
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