Male Insecurities: Let Me Down Gently
I was with a young lady recently at a comedy show and the comedian (if we should even call him that), brought up women who complain about a man’s “manhood” not being large enough. That prompted me to ask her if she had ever told a dude that he didn’t measure up and to my surprise she responded with a very unapologetic “YES.” On one hand, I was flabbergasted by her blunt honesty. On the other, I was happy that she’d never told me that. The whole instance made me think, if a woman was to ever tell me that, what would I do?
As a man, there are physical components that you can control to increase your sexual performance. Those things primarily consisting of your diet, exercise regiment, and overall health. The one thing you cannot control is the length and width of your dick. Women can enlarge, deflate, cut off, and reshape any part of their bodies. They even have a specific surgery that allows a woman to “tighten” her vaginal canal. FUCKING CHEATERS.
I’m pretty secure with what God gave me. However, that perceived security is only the result of compliments and non-hurtful statements by the women who have hd the pleasure of seeing seen and/or experienced my creation tool. In short, a few deleterious statements would be have me ordering Extenz pills within the hour.
I’m not sure how I would handle such a situation. I’ve had women in the past that made me aware that they were unsatisfied with my poor performance and would no longer require my services. That review is perfectly tolerable. When a woman deems your work as inadequate services rendered, you can easily fallback on the excuse that you weren’t trying to really please her in the first place, which in my case is usually true. However, not being able to even show her that you can’t satisfy her is a different dynamic entirely. Making it to a NFL team and being cut during training camp is much better than showing off your skill set at the NFL combine and not even being invited to try out. Damn.
If I did have to put up with the painful news that I didn’t have the right tools for the job, I’d hope it was by a complete slut. A trollop, chippie, jezebel, or a tramp. An easy bake oven. A girl who gives more head than Jason Kidd’s son. Pause.
I’m just saying, his head is really freakin’ big people.
Why would I care about her sexual history? Well, it’s common sense. The more penises a woman has seen, the more likely yours is to be nothing special. If she’s a virgin, consider yourself lucky. If she’s had sex with more men than Arsenio Hall, then you might be in trouble.
So to all the ladies of the world, if we ever meet, and you’re not visually satisfied by my meat, just say you have to leave because the judge said if you leave your kids at home one more time the courts will take them for good.
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Author: The Undresser
Black, Single, and Not Looking. Enjoys grilled salmon, cold glasses of water, and grocery shopping at Meijer. Likes women with nice ass to waist ratios, Reese Cups, and watching Real Time with Bill Maher. Dislikes cigarettes, littering, and disobedient children.
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19 Comments
10/15/2010
You and your ego. For you to be so mean and rude, it’s amazing how soft and gentle you need to be handled. *smh*
And no, I haven’t.
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10/15/2010
hey, its ok. maybe if you were better endowed I would have had sex with you afterall :-\ . #truthhurts . i dont know why you dont post the real horror stories of women who laugh at you for not measuring up the hype. to be a “man” who loves to say things about the largeness of a womans butt, you sure cant deal with a woman who puts #d*cklenthfailure
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10/15/2010
Damn you must have hurt her^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ she must be someone you don’t want to play with………
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10/15/2010
lol. damn. what?
wow. that girl came at you kinda hard mich.
:/
im sorry. what did you do??
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October 15th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
lol, the history of the whole thing is on here somewhere. *Well it used to be. Site went down and I lost a bunch of post and it looks like that was one of them.
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10/15/2010
So u just gonna take that cheap ass shot @ a toddler right? lmao but no I never told a guy that even when he asked and the answer was clearly yes. But I dont deal with small penises. Even if we are about 2 have sex (which is rarely b/c I usually check 4 lil dicks) and I see that its small I’ll stop in my tracks, find a reason 2 leave and never look back. That will leave u with nothing but a wet @ss!
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October 15th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Oh yea alot of times there are telltale signs that let u know if the nigga workn wit a monster or not lmao
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10/15/2010
No GD way I am doing your survey. HA! I will mention some comments I’ve received, though, always on the up and up.
1) She saw it and said, “Damn…………you must have been popular in high school”
2) “You have a beautiful penis” (the word pairing seemed odd to me! ie, thanks but don’t call my D “cute”.)
3) I like it when ladies keep it simple: “You know you have a big d*ck, right?”
[Reply]
October 15th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
pause.
“you have a beautiful penis” … has been said to me a dozen times. The first time I heard it, I was cheesing from ear to ear.
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October 19th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
First, no homo! I realize at this point that we are two dudes talking about d*cks. ha! So Yes, no homo.
I appreciated comment #2 afterwards, just not at the time. I think my masculine side could not identify with beautiful being a compliment.
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10/15/2010
I had a friend and we crossed “that line” once and had sex. SMDH!!! No wonder his head game was so good. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, plus what would be the use of telling him? I just told him I didn’t want to ruin our friendship O:-) but if he were bigger… We really coulda had something special lol
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October 15th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
smh. that’s messed up.
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October 21st, 2010 at 4:29 am
That is the most AWESOME fallback excuse, EVER! IMO the only time it’s acceptable to be 100% honest is when you don’t care about the guy/friendship.
I hate when guys ask if it’s big enough (and that’s probably when the answer is ‘no’). Why do guys ask questions, like that, when they already know the answer to it? Especially if they’re exceptionally orally talented to make up for the penile lacking??? Seriously, do you want me to hurt your feelings???
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10/15/2010
I mean…if your not a loosey goosey then dick size isn’t a huge deal right? I mean I’ve never seen a guy with an extremely small extremely unacceptable dick size……except for Brett Favre :-\. Yea.
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10/16/2010
“A girl who gives more head than Jason Kidd’s son. Pause. I’m just saying, his head is really freakin’ big people.”
*DEAD* Hahahaha, hilarity!
Uummm, i’ve certainly thought about it, but i’ve never said it out loud. When dude is on top of u moving up and down, putting in work, and u dont feel SHIT… I think u’ll know his d*ck is small. Either u’ve been with just him, or 100 men.
I’ve been there. I would like to thank God for making other men with bigger peewees. LOOOL
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10/16/2010
Regardless of the size I believe the worst penis to come across is one that has a “short” in it. Now, after 15 minutes of frustration, attempting to have a conversation about this is SO AWKWARD! When I attempted to ask if he wanted to try a small dose of Viagra he became offensive, which I think is total bullsh*t.
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October 16th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
A.K.A. ED B.K.A Erectile Dysfunction
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10/16/2010
i had a bf who was the sweetest ever anddd his head game was atleast an A in the effort department.. but when we had sex??
He literally put his “member” in,, and it just sat there. I was waiting for something to happen, as he literally couldn’t even move in and out because it was too small!!!! And somehow this felt like heaven to him, JUST SITTING THERE!
I broke up with him soon after but never told him why i lost all attraction for him.. smh.
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10/17/2010
I said something to a dude straight up ONCE, and it was only because he had talked sooooo much shit about his pleasure stick, head game, ect. That should of been a sign right there lol. Otherwise, I’m too nice to take such a blow to a mans ego, even if I couldn’t stand him…
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