undressingHER – LUST. LOVE. LIFE.

While there is no shortage of single, educated, working women in Michigan; certain types of women continue to elude me. It’s rather annoying to be honest, but as I look in the mirror, I’m sure that there are plenty of women wondering why they can’t find men of a much larger category. I’m not being picky here, or even suggesting that I’m looking for these things, I’m just curious if these women even exist. So if you’re out there, hit me up….

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“I had a cla*s with your ex. She’s married now, I saw her little pictures of whatever. I don’t know how you do it. I’d be mad if my ex got married. I don’t know how I’d feel about that,” she said sympathetically. That literally came out of nowhere, as I was laying down over one of my female a*sociates apartments. She’s the second woman this week to wonder why I was so unmoved by the fact that all of my ex’s and most of my old mains are either married or engaged now. The answer: it was bound to happen. When you pick quality women, you know if you don’t marry them, eventually, the next man will. So I wish them all the best…

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We’re back in the room. I’m in the bathroom with a magazine, trying to drop a pound or two. She’s laying on the bed, half naked, listening to her ipod. I come out, wash my hands, and lay on the bed for a while to let everything settle. I cut off the tv, all but one light, and give her a look that let’s her know it’s time to exchange f**k faces. GREEN LIGHT.

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I got a call from Lala, the girl from “The Enterprise Mission” blog, telling me about the Punany Poets coming to Michigan. I’d seen them before on HBO and I’m into mature events like that, so I told her to pick up a ticket for me when she went to get hers and I’d give her the money back. “Excuse me?,” she responded, as if I’d just asked her to give me head on a public bus. I thought I was the clear the first time, but I repeated myself anyway. “No,” she said. “There’s no point in us going together if we’re paying for our tickets separately”. “That’s not a date, we’re not going as a couple, we might as well sit on different sides of the room.” What the f**k? As Freckles would say, that’s petty. I would have liked to go with her, but that immature foolishness led to my typical response, “no problem.” I’ll just go with someone else.

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I happened to meet this chick off of the internet yesterday and it ended up just as quickly as I got her number. She was 30+, somewhat attractive; more sexy than cute, and I just sent her a note just to say hello. Well she apparently took a liking to me, or atleast enough to include her number in her next two replies. She called me, but I was doing something else, so I told her I’d call her back. She didn’t appreciate not being called back in a timely manner and as a result, it all went down hill from there.

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I have a problem. There, I admitted it. Every once in a while, I seem to have sex just because I can, ignoring the “I get it when I need it” code so eloquently stated by Drake. That practice is one that I plan to omit from my lifestyle very soon, but I recognize it’s a process. One more pressing issue though, is that I have repeatedly ignored situations that I know will not produce the best conclusions, in pursuit of a coveted…NUT. This one had GO HOME written all over it.

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For the second time in the same day, I received a call from a man who was obviously going through some trust issues in his relationship. Being the very helpful and honest man that I am, I simply told the distraught fellow, “don’t call my phone over no b***h,” a line I borrowed from Lloyd Banks, then I pressed “End”. My problem is not only with the men who somehow obtain my contact information, but more so with the women who allow these men to get in contact with me. To them I say, control your n***as. So for every man out there, who may see my name, or many of my aliases in “her” phone, I will offer you a free, ONE TIME guide of what to look for…

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